There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
