sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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