hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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