Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
