it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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