i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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