Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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