I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
