I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
