I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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