I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
