weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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