I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
