i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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