You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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