you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
