he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
