So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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