i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize