I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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