that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
