This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
