the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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