we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
