I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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