That's when you crack a 10am beer
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
