I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
