I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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