Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
