Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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