I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
