insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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