Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
