I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
