I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I need to sanitize my soul.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
