if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
