So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I didn't notice because vodka
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
