so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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