he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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