Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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