I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
