hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
