I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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