plz talk dirty to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How's work?
Spinning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
