I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
