I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
