worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
