I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
