Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize