Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
