It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize