I am puke
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
