Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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