He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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