I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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