Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize