So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
