They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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